“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue.” — Barbara De Angelis
Spring beckons and weddings abound. Of all the weddings I’ve been asked to be part of, my dear friend Manisha Agrawal Riley’s wedding had the most lasting impression. Vibrant colors from the bridesmaids’ attire to the lush floral arrangements were a feast for the eyes.
Hindu weddings are traditionally extravagant. Families spend lots of money and invite more people than Western weddings are accustomed to.
Related: royal blue bridesmaid dresses
Manisha’s father Asheesh shared different aspects about Hindu weddings, like size. There were 3,000 people at his reception dinner, and he and his wife Anjeli knew only 5 percent of those people. The rest were acquaintances of both of their parents.
In his hometown of Lucknow, there are several famous weddings. The most expensive wedding ever hosted 11,000 people from all over India. The bill for candles alone was $250,000.
It’s tradition for guests to give money and always give in excess of $1 ($100 would be $101) and never $99. They are very auspicious with numbers.
The next aspect is that weddings used to be arranged. Nowadays, it’s evolved to dating sites like www.shaadi.com, and it’s more common to see the blending of Indian and American or other cultures.
“There’s more divorce in Western marriages due to finances and other issues,” Ash says. “In arranged marriages, parents reduce the probability of divorce because marriage isn’t just between the bride and groom — it’s between two families.”
Social and financial status, education and hobbies are matched on the front end.
Another aspect is the sending of invites. Some wedding cards are four to five pages long because there are several ceremonies. Some include chocolates and nuts with the cards, which becomes expensive with shipping.
Weddings are long, with several ceremonies throughout the week.
The Haldi or purification ceremony is a sacred ritual. Males have a separate Haldi ceremony at their house. Turmeric and purified butter are both smothered on all parts of the body. It’s a blessing of the bride/groom for strong feet, strong knees, etc., which blesses them for a strong marriage.
Beauty and elegance is reflected in the Mendhi ceremony held the night before. The ceremony is like a wedding reception on its own where guests gather to eat traditional Indian food, drink and dance while the bride receives her Mendhi, which can take hours.
More commonly known as henna, a turmeric paste is applied in intricate designs, mainly on her hands and feet. Henna dries and leaves the design on the skin which can last up to two weeks. Her 10 bridesmaids received henna the day before.
On the wedding day, Manisha’s relatives adorned the bride with symbolic jewels (nose ring, bindi, toe rings, bangles) and her red and gold top, lehenga (skirt), headpiece and sari, all handmade in India — her entire outfit weighed 20 pounds.
The ceremony was picturesque. I carried my coconut with pride, as a symbol of good luck and prosperity, knowing that my friends who had been together already for ten years were simply making it official.
Post-ceremony activities included more Indian and American cuisine to appease the blended reception crowd, along with some ethnic dancing. The bride and her bridesmaids put on a choreographed number on the dance floor. It was an event to appease all the senses.
Related: http://www.sheindressau.com/red-coral-bridesmaid-dresses-australia
I’m thankful to her family for opening up their home to all of us, to her father Ash for providing pertinent info for this article, and to one of my best friends, Manisha, for choosing an outfit I’ll gladly wear again.
Wishing Manisha & Houston Happy 1st Anniversary, I’m so grateful to have been part of their sacred ceremony and celebration!
